THE PROPOSAL PART 2
(CONTINUED FROM THE PROPOSAL PART 1)
THE BIG QUESTION
The service year continued and one day, “Uncle” called me aside after an N.C.C.F. fellowship meeting and gave me a bible passage to read at my spare time, that we would meet and discuss it later. I went ahead and read the bible passage at my spare time.
During this period, our passing out parade (POP) which was to hold on 11th September, 2008 was quite close. Then on 7th September, 2008, “Uncle” called me out from “bar shiga” to discuss the bible passage he gave me to read. When I came out, we sat under a “dogo yaro” tree at the College of Education premises. After discussing the bible he cleared his throat and said “Errm Mama, I have something very important to tell you”. He was straight to the point. ” Errm I really like you and would want us to be closer. I really desire to have a more serious relationship with you”. I already knew this was coming because his actions in the last few months of our service year were more than enough signals for me. My reply? “Let’s watch it”
Five days after, we passed out from NYSC and three months later on the Valentine Day of 2009 he properly proposed. Thirteen months later, came The Wedding. It’s been over seven years since we got married and we are still “Watching it” (laughs).
When I interact with some young people, I feel most of them are disillusioned when it comes to choosing who to marry. Many rely only on the so-called prophecies from “Prophets” and “Prophetesses” and Pastors recommendations.
If you really want to get it right in marriage, you cannot take God out of the picture because He is the One that instituted marriage in the first place. “And the Lord God said, ‘It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him’.” (Genesis 2:18).
HOW DOES GOD SPEAK TO YOU?
You have to first of all get to know and establish how God speaks to you. When you settle that, then you are the one that should be most convinced about your marriage mate. Not your Pastor or Prophet telling you that so and so person is your wife or husband.
Flash back to those Zamfara days, I remember when I had three people that were seriously on my neck for marriage. “Uncle” was not in the picture because I hadn’t noticed his interest by then. I confided in one of my friends about the three proposals and she encouraged me to write out the names of the three people and send them to one “Prophetess” that specializes in match making. She assured me that the Prophetess would tell me the right person for me. I was both surprised and concerned with the response because the person that gave me that advice was somebody I respected in the things of God.
Anyway, I declined the offer and told her that wasn’t my method of hearing from God. Moreover, I wasn’t even convinced within me about anyone of the suitors. At last, I let the matter be and decided to find a way to manage the pressures coming from those marriage proposals, while I continued my national service.
When “Uncle” came, I did not need anyone to convince me that he was the right one. I had this inner peace and a confirmation dream and was quite convinced that he was the right one. Before he proposed, I already knew that he would propose but didn’t know when.
I confided in one of my brothers who is a Pastor and like a spiritual father to me. I told him about “Uncle” and that he would propose and also asked him to join me in prayers for confirmation.
IT IS YOUR DECISION, NOT YOUR PASTOR’S
What I want to establish here is that when it comes to serious life matters or decisions such as the choice of a marriage mate, don’t depend only on what your pastor or prophet tells you. God is accessible to ALL His children. Get close to God and hear directly from Him, concerning every issue of your life including marriage. Your pastor or spiritual leader should only confirm your conviction. He or she should not be the one to tell you whom to marry.