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CAN YOU READ MY MIND?
Open and honest communication in relationship is basic for its survival.
In the early years of our marriage, when we have misunderstandings and my husband feels offended, most times he won’t say what his annoyance was. Rather, he would assume that I know what got him offended. I, on the other hand will also feel that if he is offended at something I did, he should say it straight away and stop ‘acting.’ I have always believed in people saying what is in their minds.
No need storing up offences in one’s mind. Before you know it, “tension” would start building up between us. During this tensed period, we would be officially relating (talking and even having sexual intimacy) with ourselves but we know we were not connecting. This can last for a few days before we finally resolve whatever is the source of the misunderstanding. in the course of resolving the misunderstanding, we would discover in most of the cases that what actually got my husband offended was not even what I thought. In some cases, due to delayed reconciliation, the initial issue would metamorphose and give birth to multiples (twins and triplets).
LET IT OUT!
This continued until we consciously told ourselves that neither of us is a mind reader. Therefore neither of us will ever know what is going on in the other person’s mind. We frankly told ourselves that the best way to resolve disputes is that whosoever is hurt must let it out to the other party. We also agreed to resolve all issues before the end of each day by speaking out and not keeping the issues within. When we initially made that decision, it wasn’t quite easy abiding by it totally because we still occasionally had to “carry over” issues till the next day. However, with time and constant practice, we improved. Today, I can’t remember the last time we had to wait till the next day before resolving any misunderstanding.
OPEN AND HONEST COMMUNICATION IN RELATIONSHIP
Communication is the act of conveying information for the purpose of a shared understanding.
Active listening is an essential aspect of effective communication in relationship. Active listening requires genuine interest in the other person with full nonverbal involvement. Try and maintain eye contact while communicating. Avoid folded arms and loud voices.
In effective communication, how you say something can be more important than what you say. So, be mindful of your body language as well as that of your partner.
Stay focused on the present discussion and avoid unwarranted arguments. When arguments occur, try and control the situation and calm yourselves down. If it’s getting out of hand, find a way to politely end the discussion and revisit the issue when both of you are better off. Don’t hide or bottle up your emotions. Understand and express your emotions in simple, sincere and non-judgemental ways. Honesty and openness enhances communication a lot.