Practicals on no carry overs in relationships- Reality!

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no carry overs!

It all started on Thursday night with a little misunderstanding. Then on Friday morning, I realised a little tension was already building up between us . But we had to go to work. So, we officially did our normal morning routine and left for work.

We still called ourselves during the day from work but we knew deep down that there was a little tension developing from an issue that was not totally resolved the previous day.

Deep down within me, I was seriously looking forward to Friday night and the ample time available over the weekend to totally diffuse the undefined tension that was already building. I believe he (my husband) was also looking forward to that too (smiles).

As (mutually) expected, between Friday night and early this Saturday morning, everything was resolved.

However, the resolution process wasn’t all rosy from the onset.

  • Firstly, each person was allowed to say their own side of the story and how he/she felt about it.
  • Secondly, each person responded to what the other had said.
  • When it seem a bit difficult to easily understand and appreciate each other’s point of view of the situation, then came the seemingly forced apologies that were more of observing courtesy than being real. (Don’t blame me, that’s the reality).
  • There after, came the understanding and underlying interest that this issue must not be carried over to avoid further build up of tension in the relationship.
  • Then came the softer approach to the issue and the REAL apologies from both parties.
  • Finally, the issue was amicably resolved and the resolution crowned with activities in ZA OZA ROOM (still smiling).

THE POINT:

To wish for a relationship without challenges and issues to be resolved is being quite unrealistic. There is no perfect relationship.

However, a great relationship is one in which the partners are mutually ready and willing to see things from each other’s point of view.

Participants in any relationship are obviously two different people from different backgrounds with different orientations and exposures. So, it takes understanding, compromise, sacrifice and consistent effective open communication to get along well and create a great relationship. Avoid procrastination on conflict resolutions as much as possible.

Therefore, as you navigate through this weekend, make sure you don’t have carry overs.

Yes! Carry overs are as dangerous, if not more, in relationships as in the universities.

Ensure you resolve ALL outstanding issues to avoid unnecessary build up of avoidable tensions in your relationship.

Moreover, who has ever won an award for winning an argument in a relationship?

 Please I need answers if you have any!

Have a great weekend!

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