In the first few years of our marriage there was general spontaneity, excitement and youthful exuberance in most areas of our life. However, over time and with coming of the children, things have changed a lot.
We have become more matured, settled and deliberate in our approach to issues. There is a little bit of rhythmic routine with flexibility in various areas of our marriage, including our sex life.
In terms of our communication with each other, issues don’t linger so long as they did in the first few years of our marriage before they are settled. Rather, issues are settled quicker and with more understanding, empathy and maturity.
There is more of mutual and spontaneous apology unlike in the beginning which was characterised by long faces and prolonged malice before issues were settled-it was usually a case of who would apologize first.
As we journey through life, marriage inclusive, we encounter various changes, most of which we never anticipated for.
Changes occur in marriage. Some of these changes can be quite simple while others can be very challenging. They include, but are not limited to:
- Finance/money matter
- Fertility issues
- Health issues, etc
The ability of couples to successfully go through these life challenges is a demonstration of maturity and inner strength.
Most of these life challenges require changes.
When couples resist change, they begin to experience stagnation and deterioration.
Continuous conflict and disharmony in relationships could be as a result of refusal to accept and adapt to life changes.
There is always a time to hold unto and a time to let go. The ability to recognise and appropriate those life changes can make a big difference between the presence of or absence of consistent conflict in your relationship.
Life is in cycles and it is also about growth, development and changes.
There are different seasons in life.
Different couples and marriages have different challenges just as different countries have different seasons.
In most cultures, including all western countries, the year is commonly divided into four seasons:
- Fall or Autumn
Spring brings new life in nature. It often has a large amount of rain, depending on where you live. Plant life begins to grow and flowers bloom. Animals come out of hibernation in colder areas of the world.
Summer is known to be warm and sunny. Also, temperatures may increase to their hottest of the year, causing heat waves or droughts. These extreme high temperatures may cause trouble for humans, animals, and plants.
Autumn or fall, is windy. Temperatures cool again and plants may begin to grow dormant. Most animals prepare themselves for the upcoming cold weather by storing food, while others migrate to warmer regions.
Winter is known for snow and Cold. It often brings a chill. Some areas may experience snow or ice, while others see only cold rain. Animals find ways to warm themselves, and may have to change their appearances to adapt.
These seasons are natural phenomenon and people have little or no control over them.
The timing and characteristics of the seasons depends upon the location on Earth.
Changes in life and marriage are also similar. Most of them are inevitable.
Therefore, couples should realise that these changes would occur and should therefore prepare for them with the required understanding and flexibility.
For instance, if you think your marriage is no longer working out, instead of calling it quits, you may need to find out whether one or more of these inevitable changes are not being properly handled. There may be a need for your re-examination of your understanding of marriage, the roles you think you should be playing and the carrying out of necessary adjustments.
Stock taking and renewals of vows and values help to smoothly transit from one life cycle to another. They help to take care of vexations, conflicts and sorrows and recreate peace, joy and a reset to the original attraction.
Changes in life cycles call for flexibility, personal reexamination and mutual compromise.
Also, spiritual strength from God through couple’s mutual prayer and meditation can make a whole lot of positive difference.
Do you think couples should embrace all the changes that occur in their relationship?
Should they resist some of the changes?
Say your mind in the comment section below.