Attitude In Relationships And Marriages:
Sometimes last week, I boarded a public transport bus, popularly called “Danfo” in Lagos, Nigeria. As we were about to drive off, two ladies who were also passengers in the vehicle were seriously quarreling between themselves. You see, this happens a lot in Lagos.
Apparently, lady A stepped on lady B as they were boarding the bus. Unfortunately, Lady A had refused to apologize. What an insolence!!!!
Our driver drove off and it was as if the more the driver increased the speed of the bus, the more heated their quarrel became. Before long, the quarrel was almost graduating to a fight. Another common drama in Lagos.
Then something happened.
The driver just threw in this statement:
Driver: “Na who marry two wives inside this my bus”? (Who married two wives inside this bus?)
Collective response of passengers:
“No be you”? (Are you not the one?)
“Are they not your wives”?
And that was it!
That simple question from the driver and the accompanying response from the witty passengers elicited laughter from almost all the passengers in the bus and the quarrel stopped immediately as everybody in the bus started joking with the situation.
Some female passengers even pleaded with the driver to consider them as concubines since the wive positions were already taken.
That was how the quarrel ended and the rest of the journey was filled with peace and laughter.
Attitude in relationships and marriages is key and can make a big difference between peace and discord.
There are lots of quarrels, fights, misunderstandings and even separations that occur in relationships and marriages which should have been avoided if only the partners involved applied the right attitude and approach in dealing with conflicts in their relationships and marriages.
You may have little or no control over some things that happen between you and your partner but your attitude and approach can either save or mar the whole situation.
Negative Attitude In Relationships And Marriages Include:
- Pride/Feeling superior: When you feel superior to your spouse/partner, it destroys your spouse’s self esteem. Pride does no relationship any good. See yourselves as partners in progress.
- Disdain/Contempt towards your partner:
This is the feeling that a person or a thing is worthless or beneath consideration. Feeling of contempt towards your partner breeds irritation and annoyance. Both of you should collectively build up your strengths.
Fault-finding/criticism: The ability to make mistakes is one of the things that make us human. When we realise that we are not perfect, it makes it easier to overlook the faults of others, including our partners.
- Unnecessary comparison: Comparing our partners and relationships with others mostly leaves us feeling negative. Moreover, every relationship and marriage is unique and different from others and appearance can be quite deceptive. So, there is actually no basis for comparison. Love and build up what you have rather than compare.
- Lack of gratitude: As simple as it may seem, saying “sorry” and showing other forms of gratitude can go a long way in infusing positive energy into your relationship and marriage.
- Unforgiveness. You can’t keep holding unto the hurts and expect your relationship and marriage to move forward. Building a habit of forgiveness is one of the best decisions you and your partner can make concerning your union because offenses are almost inevitable and keeping malice shouldn’t be an option.
- Selfishness: Relationship means it is no longer all about you! Look out for each other’s interest.
Having the proper attitude is the key to the progress and success of every relationship. As they say “your attitude determines your altitude”