As a parent, I find child discipline which is a very far reaching and important aspect of parenting as challenging and rewarding at the same time. It is worth repeating that child discipline is a key and indispensable part of parenting.
My Parenting And Child Discipline Lessons:
- Every child is unique: In the past, I usually made the mistake of comparing my children with themselves. However, I have come to realize that every child is unique. The uniqueness of every child also requires bespoke or fit to size parenting strategies including discipline. There lies the dynamism of parenting.
- Different parenting and disciplining styles work for different children: What works for my five year old hardly works for my eight year old.
- Discipline is not punishment: Though they may seem related because I see some form of punishment (not corporal punishment) in discipline, the two terms are quite different. Oxford Advanced Learner’s Dictionary defines discipline as the practice of training people to obey rules and orders and punishing them if they do not. On the other hand, to punish means to make somebody suffer because they have broken the law or done something wrong. I see discipline as being corrective while punishment (especially physical punishment) tends towards being destructive.
- The older the child, the more the advisory aspect of discipline and the less the punishment aspect.
- Have family rules: I have procrastinated on this family rules a lot. But recently, I engaged and involved my children in coming up with a workable family rule and they are very excited to be part of it. We would finalize on it this weekend.
Common Mistakes Of Parents In Parenting And Child Discipline:
- Being a bad example: Children are great observers. They learn a lot through actions than through words. Preaching one thing and practicing another is a major parenting mistake which can go a long way to undermine whatever efforts you are putting in as a parent in your child discipline. So, if you really want to see positive results in your parenting and child discipline, then practice what you preach!
- Constant Comparison: Every child is different and unique. What works for child A may not work for child B. Don’t compare your children with their siblings. Relate with each child as a unique being and you will reap great rewards from your parenting and child discipline efforts.
- Expecting Perfection: When you expect perfection from your child, it makes you neglect and undermine the little efforts your child is putting in towards being a better person. This can make the child to give up on further improvement.
- Disciplining in anger: Children are professionals when it comes to testing your patience and endurance level as an adult. I have felt guilty several times as a result of disciplining my children in anger. When you discipline your child in anger, you tend to go overboard with it and the discipline becomes destructive rather than corrective. Self control is needed in order to avoid this.
- Inconsistency in child discipline: Your parenting and discipline strategies will hardly yield positive results if there is no consistency. If possible, specify and implement consequences for bad behaviours and rewards for good behaviours. However, this must be done in moderation.
- Over indulgence: You need to be firm in child discipline if you want your child to take you serious.
- Don’t be too strict: In as much as you are trying to be firm in your child discipline, you also need to avoid being too strict. There is need to create a proper balance between the two. Also, make out time to play and relax with your children. This creates more bond between you and your child and helps to positively reinforce your parenting and child discipline efforts.
Let your parenting and child discipline strategies be corrective rather than destructive. Praise and encourage positive behaviours in your child even as you implement consequences for bad behaviours. All in moderation.
Though parenting and child discipline can be tough and challenging, remember that it is equally rewarding!
Parenting And Child Discipline Brainteaser:
Creating a perfect blend between child discipline and punishment has always been a challenge to me. I also believe that I am not alone in this.