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Get to know the differences between fling and relationship before you start having unrealistic expectations on any relationship. Are you really in a relationship or is it just a fling?
What is a fling?
A fling is a casual dating or a casual relationship. It is a physical and emotional relationship between two people who may have casual sex or a near-sexual relationship without necessarily demanding or expecting the extra commitments that come with a more formal romantic relationship.
A fling is usually longer than a one-night stand. Though, it could be as short as a two-day thing, a weekend, or vacation thing which could last for a few weeks or months.
Some people can carry on a fling for a much longer time and there are possibilities that some fling can develop into a serious relationship.
However, believing and hoping that a casual relationship, which your partner considers and sees as a fling will develop and become a serious relationship can be frustrating and heartbreaking if it didn’t happen that way.
It is better to be on the same page with your partner in any relationship in order to avoid unrealistic expectations that can eventually lead to a heartbreak.
In other words, relationships take time to build, develop and mature. You need time to understand each other before you can consider making it a long term relationship or not.
There are times when one of the partners actually believes and sees whatever it is that they have to be a fling while the other partner is already believing it to be a relationship. This usually leads to disappointment and heartbreak. To avoid this, there are certain factors you need to look out for to help you to know if you are in a fling or a relationship.
Differences Between Fling and Relationship:
- Making out time for each other: People can be really busy but you can’t be too busy to communicate with someone you truly care for. Does your partner prioritize spending time with you? Or is he/she always giving excuses and reasons for not making out time for you? These days, technology has made it very easy to communicate even when one is not physically present. There are many options, such as phone calls, video calls, text messages, charts, Skype, emails, etc. If your partner prioritizes and values communicating and spending time with you, then you might be in a relationship. If not, maybe you are not that important and it may just be a fling.
- Talking about a future together: Do you talk about a future together? Do you see yourselves in each other’s future? If your partner is always avoiding, preventing or feeling offended with any talks or plans that have to do with your future together, such as future plans for the relationship, dating, courtship, marriage, meeting families, having kids in the future, etc, then what you both have may just be a fling. A person involved in a fling lives and cares mostly for the “now”. He/she hardly cares about the future.
- You get to meet your families and friends: I remember after I met my husband (then we were not yet married), during our NYSC service year and he made known his intention for us to take the relationship more serious, even though we were in Zamfara State (Northern Nigeria), very far from home (Eastern Nigeria), he made me speak with his mother on the phone on some occasions. That was a sign of seriousness for me. (That feeling of “This one is good to take to mama” kind of thing. Lol….). Someone who is really in a relationship with you will not totally isolate you from his/her family and friends. The involvement of family and friends in a relationship can also help to serve as checks and balances. If your partner is always avoiding and putting off meeting or even speaking with your family and friends, maybe you both are not really in any relationship. It may just be a fling.
- All about sex: A relationship is not all about sex. In fact, a partner who is in a true relationship with you will be ready and willing to hold back on sex till the right commitment is made. If your partner is only interested in your body and sex, maybe it is a fling.
- Attitudes of a player/flirt: There is this saying: “Once a player, always a player”. People do change, yes, I know that. However, if your partner has two or three more of your type, then he/she is a player. If he/she has a strong reputation of flirting or jumping in and out of relationship? Maybe you are in a fling with a player and you are his/her latest toy. Relationship requires commitment.
- You just separated from your ex: If either of you just got out of a relationship, then you are in your least stable emotional state to make a right relationship decision. You need time to gather yourself together before entering into another relationship in order to avoid rebound relationship or being in a fling.
- Mutual sacrifice and compromise: Things are not always rosy in a relationship. There might be some low and challenging moments and those are the moments that you need each other the most. However, if your partner hardly identifies with you in your low and challenging moments, maybe you are in a fling and you are not worth his/her extra sacrifice and compromise.