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One of the best gifts you can give to your partner in a relationship is the gift of forgiveness.
Constant, premeditated and consistent acts of forgiveness is one of the hallmarks of lasting relationships.
Creating a big room in your heart for forgiveness even before any offence is a sign of inner strength and maturity.
What Is Forgiveness?
Forgiveness is the act of pardoning an offender. That is, to let go of an offence.
We forgive others when we let go of resentment and give up any claim to be compensated for the hurt or loss we have suffered as a result of the offence.
To forgive means to stop blaming or being angry with someone for something that person has done, or refraining from punishing them for the wrongful act.
A lot of people have abused the acts of kindness and forgiveness by their partners.
However, this shouldn’t be enough reason to stop forgiving.
Benefits Of Forgiveness:
The truth about forgiveness is that when you forgive, you benefit more than the person who hurt you.
This is because forgiveness gives you the following benefits:
- Reduced feeling and symptoms of depression
- better mental health
- better self-worth and self-esteem
- healthier relationship
- stronger immune system and healthier heart and body
- reduced stress and anxiety
- lower blood pressure, etc
What Forgiveness Isn’t:
Sometimes people easily misunderstand what forgiveness really is. It is therefore important to stress that forgiveness isn’t any of the following:
- Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting: Our human memory is more developed to easily forget. However, forgiveness means that though we may remember the hurt, but we no longer let it hold us down. We no longer feel anger and resentment towards the offender.
- Forgiveness doesn’t mean justifying or excusing the wrongful act or the harm done to you. Rather, forgiveness gives you a kind of inner peace that helps you move on with life.
- Forgiveness doesn’t mean making yourself vulnerable for further offences. Consequently, when you forgive, you should create checks and balances to help reduce, if not prevent further offenses.
- Forgiveness is not a one-time thing/exercise. Offences are part of life. As the Holy Bible says, ‘offences must come’. So, to live healthy, you need to make the act of forgiveness an integral part of your life.
How To Forgive:
It is very true that some offences such as betrayal by a loved one or infidelity can be quite difficult, but not impossible to forgive.
For you to effectively practice act of forgiveness, you need to do the following:
- Understand the true meaning of forgiveness
- Don’t pretend it never happened. Rather, recognize that it did happen
- Review the benefits of forgiveness
- Let go of anger and resentment
- Stop the blame game and refrain from judgement
- Connect/reconnect to God for inner strength
- Be kind and empathetic
- Practice love (genuine and God’s kind of love)
It is obvious that we can’t control people’s actions towards us. However, we can control how we react to people’s actions and forgiveness is one of the ways to go.
When Forgiveness Is Abused:
Some people’s acts of forgiveness in relationships have been constantly abused and neglected by their partners.